Generational Wealth, It's Not Just Money

Hello again and thank you for taking a Moment with Mel. Today we are going to talk about emotional generational wealth and the two things we need to do to create and maintain it. We often focus on money as the way to break negative generational patterns. Yes, money is important but the lack of it, in and of itself is not what is affecting society the most. If that was the case, families who are stable financially would not be struggling with their children also. In all honesty, if you do not crack the code for emotional generational wealth, any financial generational wealth that you gain will not be with your family for generations. Emotional Intelligence includes self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills.

Number one, we have to treat pregnancy and the first 3 years of life as sacred times. The human brain is the most complex entity in the universe. At times in the first year of life, new connection points are being established at a rate of three billion per second. Anything that threatens a mother’s emotional security, disrupts the developing electrical wiring and chemical supplies of the infant’s brain and will impact their emotional and physical health. Children absorb everything their mother's feel and everything in her environment.

Number two, we have to spend as much time as possible with our children in their early years. This starts from when they are in the womb. Babies can hear sounds as early as 16 weeks. We need to start reading to them in the womb. When they come out and start to babble, we need to listen to everything they want to tell us. As they get older, we need to allow them to explore the full range of their emotions. They have to be able to be angry, sad and scared around us, not just happy. What better space for them to express and learn how to deal with their emotions than with those who truly love them and can help them figure out what and why they are feeling the way they are. Being in the same physical space with them doesn't mean we are connecting with them.

One misconception is that because a person has reached a certain chronological age, they have an equal amount of emotional maturity. We might have survived an event or situation but that does not mean that we are emotionally mature. Not dealt with, it will significantly impact the partner and parent we can be.

 What are our pregnancy and childhood stories, what is your child's? Anxiety, depression (including postpartum depression) and abusive environments cause a great deal of stress on the developing fetus. Was there food or housing insecurity? Screaming, yelling, cursing, cause stress to the developing fetus. Dysfunctional households, where mom and dad barely talk to each other also affect a child's growth and development. We think that because a child cannot speak, they are not absorbing and recording. According to Dr. Gabor Mate, "The more adversity a child had been exposed to, the greater the risk of addictions, mental health issues, and other medical problems in adulthood".

If we want to pass on emotional generational wealth, we have to take treat pregnancy and early childhood as sacred times. If we want to be able to guide the next generation to greater and greater heights, we have to spend quality time with them and create safe spaces for them to explore and express their entire range of emotions with us. In order to be the best partners and parents, we have to be not only be chronologically mature, but also emotionally mature.