Don't Double Down

Hello again and thank you for taking a Moment with Mel. Today, I want you to remember a phrase, "Don't Double Down". We recently had a fatal domestic violence tragedy unfold in our county that really rocked our world. My thoughts today are not specific to that event but I want to talk about 3 things, what we teach our children, when to walk away and how to walk away.

As my nieces and nephews were transitioning from one grade level to the next, we would go out for lunch or dinner and have a conversation about the next stage of their lives. I did this as they were going from elementary school to middle school, middle school to high school and high school to university. To help prepare them for the stage when they would be start dating, one of the rules we talked about, both the boys and the girls was, "Nobody hits anybody". Some children are raised with the rule, "Boys are not to hit girls". I had nephews, I didn't want anyone getting hit.

Relationships are hard, two people coming from 2 different backgrounds trying to become one couple. Pay attention to signs. Disagreements are going to happen but they should not escalate into abuse of any form. Someone cursing at you, becoming aggressive, hitting you, is not ok. The first time someone does something, is the hardest it will be for them to do it. The first hit, will lead to a second hit. Leave as soon as it is safe to leave.

The third and final thing I want to talk about is what our mother told us about how to walk away. If you know within yourself that it is time to leave, DO NOT tell your partner until you are safe. I once had a coworker tell me that she was going to have her husband served divorce papers while she was living in the house with him. I told her, No Ma'am, safety first. Physically leave the environment, then he can be served. The police can help you come back to get your belongings or you can take important papers and items away when your partner is not there. Walking away from "things" is more important than losing your life. Across the United States, when you are in a safe place, dial 211 for 24 hour support and resources. If you are in a situation where you do not feel safe and cannot leave, call 911. "Don't Double Down", walk away when it is safe.